Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind with the Sims 3. Experiment Five: A Glitch in the Matrix. After the fire burned itself out, a child services woman named Linda Duran magically appeared and sent Turbo Sexaphonic away. My experiments were going badly enough without interdepartmental meddling. To make matters worse, the government's demonic use of sorcery went haywire when facing off against my fence technology. The toddler was warped away, but Linda was stuck.

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But Beef still knew. He refused to use the bathroom from the moment she arrived. He howled a picture of a toilet at her over and over, and she responded by staring through him until his bladder detonated where he stood. I'll have to watch out for this woman.. Speaking of, since the government took the child away, I began removing toys from the home while Beef sleeps. I want him to think that maybe the kid was never there to begin with, which seems like an inadequate mind game now that ghosts are forcing him to pee on himself.

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Fear of water and a thin layer of smoldering urine are a bad combination of traits to have near a bitch ghost. Linda and nearly everything in the facility was destroyed by flame, except for the immaculate toy oven in the kitchen. It's so not an oven that it couldn't even start a fire while an inferno crawled over it. It's so not an oven that its momma has to brown toast with a paint roller! It's so not an oven that it thinks a pilot light lets you read while you fly the plane! The gateless fence continues to wreck havoc on the lives and intentions of the other artificial intelligences in the game. The neighborhood paper girl appeared by the toilet for only a moment to howl from between worlds and vanish.

But in the Sims 3, if I want to test a floor sealant, there's no regulation against forcing a fat clown into a mirrored booth where he watches himself wet his pants to death. Day after day went by, and Subject Beef stood in that booth and refused to die. He babbled at the mirrors, glared at a bunny painting when I told him to, and every two minutes he would try to perform an activity described as .

If he figures a way out of this, I fully expect him to be standing behind me in my world. I designed the booth to be inescapable, but I don't trust that word anymore.

I don't remember doing this, b- but I must have, right? The strange thing is that at the moment of his death, he still had a full Fun Bar, which is technical jargon for a bar that computerized beings use to measure how much fun they're having. What did he enjoy about his slow starvation in a vertical coffin? Winrar 3 93 Intel Macbook. I'll tell you one thing: If it's not the idea of killing me, then I'm a shitty scientist. The slimmer, undeadier Subject Beef floated through the smoldering ruins of his former prison, and as I turned the game the fuck off, already shouting out the window for a priest to reconsecrate the pox placed upon my computer..

I could have sworn for a moment that I saw Linda. This allowed me to go back to the menu and start the game over with a fresh genetic clone of Subject Beef and Turbo Sexaphonic. With science marching along next to me, I moved them into the burned- out, haunted remains of my old facility to recreate our grand experiment. What happened next is a true story: the clone rummaged through the trash for exactly 2.

It's like the first thing he did after being created was remember what I had done. Going over all this data, I can conclude that science and all the dark- sided Gozar- summoning magic it brings with it can kiss my ass.